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Wednesday, January 28, 2009

Holistic decisions

As expected, baby stuff is often the foremost thing on my mind right now. Specifically, I have started thinking a lot about where I stand on the line of holistic to modern convenience. Typically I'm a rather holistic person. I'm not extreme by any means. But I do have holistic tendencies. I try to eat healthy and I try to conserve where possible. I tend to avoid medications where possible and much prefer to treat the cause, not the symptom. I have lost a lot of faith in general practitioner doctors who a) can never actually figure out what's wrong with me and thus b) always prescribe medication to treat symptoms. I'm most annoyed when they prescribe things like Lortab when Ibuprofen is sufficient to treat the pain. Anyway... that's another story. Point is, I tend towards the holistic side of things.

Now I have to decide if I want to be holistic in birth and parenting. The most pressing question on my mind is epidural or not. My gut instinct is to not have an epidural. I want the least amount of medications in myself and affecting my baby as possible. I firmly believe that the female body was designed for childbirth and that I am completely capable of handling the pain that accompanies it. I asked my sister, Jalin, mother of 5, what she did. She had an epidural with the first, because the contractions were coming one on top of the other and she never had time to relax enough to prepare her body for labor. After that, she never had an epidural and prefers it that way. She prefers to be able to feel what is happening, instead of just pushing when someone tells her to push.

On the other hand, I'm not exactly a fan of pain. The most convincing argument I've heard for an epidural is, "People went to the dentist for hundreds of years without anesthetic. Would you go without it now just because it can be done?"

My next dilemma is my doctor. I have an OB/GYN right now. But do I really want an OB/GYN? Or do I want a midwife? Don't worry, I'm talking about a Certified Midwife... preferably one that is associated with a hospital. I like my OB/GYN well enough, but I don't feel overly comfortable talking to him. The thought of bringing up my holistic questions with him just doesn't seem all that appealing to me. I like the stigma that midwives carry of being more involved and more of a friend than just a doctor. Also, the simple fact that they're a midwife makes me more comfortable bringing up holistic concerns. But do I really want to change doctors at 20 weeks?

Then there are parenting things. The wife of a guy I went to school with, Thora (yes, I'm a blog lurker), blogged about co-sleeping. I had never actually thought about this idea, so I spent the day doing research on the pros and cons of it. The pros sounded quite convincing, but the cons made me a little leery. But then I found this co-sleeping bassinet that quite intrigued me. It's basically a bassinet with one wall that comes down so that the baby can sleep right next to the bed and keep the close proximity and all the benefits that come with it, but also keeps the baby in a baby-safe bed that reduces the risk of suffocation that is possible with modern bedding. Another great benefit of this is the idea that we can stay in our current apartment for awhile longer, which is nice because it's a really great deal price-wise, and we can save more money to buy a house in the future. Also, we love the area, the ward, etc.

And then there are things like cloth diapers. Which, let's be honest, I want to at least try, but will never do it until I have a washer and dryer in house.

I know I don't have to decide on all of this right away, and I'm not super stressed about such decisions quite yet, but they are all things that are running through my mind, demanding research from me now so that I can make an educated decision later.

I'm also quite aware that many of you are reading this blog right now with wide eyes, a dropped jaw, and thinking, "This woman is crazy!" Trust me, I know I'm in the minority. I've already had several people express the opinion that to not get an epidural or to keep the baby in my bedroom is the result of pure insanity. In fact, I think that's what's caused me to not give this serious thought sooner. I have my own opinions on things, but I also tend to bend under peer pressure. I've chosen an OB/GYN, seriously considered an epidural, and have been spending a lot of time investigating two-bedroom apartments not because I feel they are necessary, but because everyone around me thinks they are. Today I'm kind of in the mood to make decisions based on what I feel good about. I'm in the mood to disregard what everyone else thinks, grow a spine, and do what just feels right. I know this feeling isn't gonna last forever. I know peer pressure is going press down upon me again and make me reconsider. I already made BJ promise me that if I decide to do things holistically (and that he is not opposed to said decisions, of course) that he will support me when things get tough and remind me that popularity isn't everything.

So, dear readers, I would love your comments on such things, esp. recommendations for midwives in the Provo/Orem area if you have them. I would love to know what you think. But I do request that if you're entirely negative to any of these approaches and have no support to give to my decisions (if they end up being holistic), please keep them to yourself.

18 comments:

MegRuth said...

You should really watch "The Business of Being Born." We're not trying yet but I watched it and I am pretty sure I'm set on midwife and natural birth.

As for co-sleeping, never heard of it, but it sounds intriguing.

And cloth diapers, my mom used them on me and I used them as rags to wash the bathrooms when I was 5...creepy, found out about that much later on. But I'm pretty sure I couldn't take washing poop diapers...nope, can't

So I'm with you on the birth part. midwives deliver in every other country except the US. Why is that?

Seriously, watch the documentary.

The De Souzas said...

Don't beat yourself up about considering your options. In today's world, ignorance is hardly a good excuse for anything, and I don't think it's smart for people to say, "I'm definitely getting an epidural" or "I'm definitely going natural" without considering the pros and cons about each side. Same goes for the midwife subject. There is such a stigma about midwives in the U.S. Like it's an old lady who will insist on you having your baby at home, and she'll show up with a stick for you to hold between your teeth and a pot of boiling water. The truth is that in other industrialized nations, 70% of all births are attended to by midwives, and in the U.S. the number is tiny. Maybe it's not a coincidence that currently other industrialized nations also have better morality rates for newborns than the U.S. does.

Having said all this, I admit that I didn't consider any options with my first pregnancy. I wanted a doctor, in a hospital, with an epidural. And I might make the same decision next time, but at least now I know that that's not the only choice, and it's not the only SMART choice.

I have a friend who is actually a nurse, and she uses midwives for her pregnancies (she is pregnant with her third right now). She loves that her midwife stays with her during the entire labor, and acts like a friend as well as a doctor. She delivers at American Fork Hospital. I don't know much about the midwives she uses, but I could find out if you want.

Co-sleeping: I couldn't have done it if I wanted to. I'm such a light sleeper that I'd never get any sleep myself. The bassinet you described sounds cool. I'm sure you're on top of this, but just make sure to look into hazardous concerns (some things that attach to the bed have risks of creating a small gap that a baby could suffocate in). Several of my friends have practiced co-sleeping because it makes nursing at night so much easier. One of my friends gets herself into trouble though because she lets the co-sleeping go on for so long that it's nearly impossible to wean her infant to a crib later.

Cloth diapers: yikes. I would never have the patience or stomach for that, but if I did--I would TOTALLY do it. So much better for the environment, so much better for the pocketbook. Diapers are expensive! Especially at the beginning, when they go through so many.

Good luck Tianna! You are such an intelligent (not to mention in tune) person. I know you'll make good decisions. Your baby is so lucky to have you for a mom.

(Sorry to leave such a long comment!)

Sharrard Family said...

Hi Tianna! I think you should do what feels right for you. Each person is different. My sister in-law had a midwife and a home birth. I had an ob/gyn. Of course if I didn't with my very first baby.. I wouldn't be here today. :)
So with that said, my opinion is you do what is right for YOU. Don't bend under peer pressure. What feels right for you is usually something that you will excel at.
As for the co sleeping thing.. I couldnt do it. Thought about it, but I really enjoy having my own bedroom. All though the convinence's to it would have been nice. Plus when we lived in Provo or bedroom didn't have room for even a bassinet. :)
Cloth diapers you should wait until you have a washer and dryer. My sister in-law did those. She actually had a sprayer installed next to the toilet for that one reason. We used regular diapers until now. But we don't use the cloth diaper diapers. We use potty training panties that remind me of cloth diapers. They really are just like it. But we are close to potty training. Hence the switch.
Good luck to you!

The De Souzas said...

P.S. I recently watched The Business of Being Born too, and it's definitely interesting. Be warned that there are some profanity issues. The only thing I didn't like about the documentary (besides the profanity) is that the people (midwives mostly) who were interviewed were SO NEGATIVE about hospitals and doctors in general. Some of them said that doctors shouldn't even be delivering babies because they're not qualified, and one person implied that if you don't have a natural birth, your body won't release the "love cocktail" hormone oxytocin, and you won't love your baby.

In general though, the facts and arguments presented by the film are extremely interesting.

(So not cool to leave a long P.S. after a long comment. Sorry again.)

Tay said...

Right, so, i have a lot of openness in opinions.

I am all for epidurals, but then again I didn't have any crazy side effects. And I also stopped pushing the blessed button of numbing at the point where it gave me enough time to feel when to push for. I used it to get me through transition, because it was awful. And I also believe that God inspired most, if not all, advances in modern medicine. So don't worry that you're going against Him, you know? And yes, the woman's body is definitely made to carry and birth a baby. I think a mid-wife would be cool, but Brian might freak out because having kids already makes him nervous enough about my small frame. :) and i really like my OB/GYN. you should come up to PG because he is just that cool. And my friend totally switched from OB/GYN to midwife in her last week of pregnancy. No big.

co-sleeping... I would love it, but it's kinda intrusive in the whole husband/wife thing... :D and stuff. I would just get a pack 'n' play because it's awesome and not very large. Sean prefers his to his crib because it's smaller. And no risk! Well, more than usual i guess. And it would be fantastic for midnight feedings. sigh.

I'm getting ready to really consider cloth diapers, getting away from all those chemicals on his little bum. Brian is actually willing! cool, huh? My mom thinks i'm nuts, but there you go.

You are such a pregnant lady. :) I was totally at this phase haha! So, just do what you want and any one who disagrees can just.. well, you know. Your kid, not theirs. your body. your experience.

Tay said...

and don't believe it when people tell you that an epidural or c-section (if there's an emergency, of course) that it lessens the experience. Totally doesn't. You will love that child with your whole self. i had a weird post-partum, so it took me a couple weeks to get to myself again, but after that i couldn't get enough of the little guy!

Lindsay said...

I agree with one of Tay's last comments: nothing you choose will lessen your pregnancy, birth, or motherhood experience. And don't let anyone ever let you believe otherwise.

It was fun chatting with you earlier. Seriously. It's been a long time since we've done that. I wanted to, though, throw in my two cents about the whole 1 vs. 2 bedroom thing. After living in NYC for the last year and a half, my view of space (or lack thereof) has changed dramatically. Where it once upon a time seemed absolutely crucial to have several bedrooms in order to sanely raise a family, it now seems totally doable in even a studio apartment. Most of the parents-of-one-child families in our ward live in shoebox-sized one bedroom apartments -- and even though their children are quickly growing into toddlers and preschoolers, they thrive just fine. In fact, the fact that we have 2 bedrooms makes us a bit of anomaly. Don't get me wrong...I do love having the little bit of extra space, but if I wasn't afforded this luxury, I think we'd get along just fine. And the baby doesn't even have to sleep in your room to make it work. One of our friends portioned off their livingroom with a large bookshelf to make a makeshift nursery. I think it's quite possible, even with sharing your room with the baby, to keep your spaces a bit separate, if that's how you choose to do things. So, if you're not anxious to move, don't. At least not yet. Give your 1 bedroom a try, see how it goes, and make big decisions like this one later when you're feeling less stressed in the decision-making department.

Sarah said...

Hello, my name is Sarah and your friend, Jessica Hiatt told me about your post. I am 35 weeks pregnant and I am actually planning a home birth with a midwife right now. My first was in a hospital(UVRMC) and an OB. Go with your gut. But the reasearch does show that in low risk pregnancies, a home birth(not that I think you are planning it) is safer than at a hospital. Reason being that a lot of the interventions they do at a hospital often lead to more and then it just cascades out of control. I have the Business of Being Born if you would like to borrow it..as well as a lot of natural pregnancy and birth books. I am a birth doula and I lend them to my clients. If you are looking for reccommendations for Nurse midwives who deliver at a hospital, go with the Timpanogos Nurse Midwives (801 756-5288) I actually went to them as well as my home midwife till 20 weeks so I could get the bloodwork, U/S and make sure there were no problems. Don't feel obligated to someone at 20 weeks..a friend of mine switched at 38 weeks.

As for co-sleeping, we did it for almost a year and a half. Our daughter would start out in a bassinet/crib and when she woke up after we had gone to bed, I would just bring her in to nurse and I got a lot more sleep than I would have. It was also nice when she was really little because she slept better with me and I slept better knowing she was next to me and I could feel her breathing. New babies actually can regulate their own breathing better when next to their mother so it has been shown to actually reduce SIDS. You just keep the sheets away from the baby and no fluffy things. She is now 2 and sleeps in her own room.(so save your money for a bit and stay in the 1 bedroom)

Cloth diapers: I started Cloth diapering Bella when she was about a year old and she potty trained right before her 2nd birthday so I got about a year in. I loved it..Bum Genius was my favorite(better for babies 10 lbs or more) They are one sized so I will actually be able to snap them down and use them with her brother who comes in a few weeks. I actually do not have a washer/dryer in my townhome..just a laundry room so I will see how it is when having a young baby who goes through the diapers faster. It still seemed cheaper to me than buying diapers and I felt good not putting more waste and human waste into the earth. They are also really cute.

My parenting mantra was to follow my instincts and I guess by doing that, I am more of a "natural" parent..co-sleeping and such. I just started reading and reading after my daughter was born and learned so much(especially about birth and breastfeeding)
Anyway, I know that was long but I would love to talk to you more if you want. You can check out my blog at www.slightlycrunchymama.blogspot.com and my name is Sarah.

Peter and Andrea said...

From my experience cloth diapers were a lot less work than I thought they would be. I did't use them all the time, but they're really nice when you're changing diapers all the time. I'll probably use them even more with my next baby.

I love co-sleeping. Honestly I feel a little bad for people who miss out on all the chances to snuggle and sleep with their baby. I'm pretty sure I get more sleep than I would otherwise, too. We got a pack and play (the smallest they had so it would fit in our apartment), but I think we only used it maybe ten times. Co-sleeping is just right for us.

But everybody's different.

And I didn't want an epidural, but I got pressured into it at the hospital when they said my labor would be at least eight more hours and I was in transition. Just be prepared to not give into pressure at the hospital if you decide not to get one. Oh--and I could still feel when to push there just wasn't pain. I was laughing most of the time I was pushing actually.

Sorry--comment from a random stranger, but co-sleeping is so worth it.

The Dipo's said...

LOL! Got enough response on that post eh? You already got my email about the questions you asked, so I won't spill my guts here, just good luck! I do want to mention though, that an epidural makes a world of difference if you are being enduced, because the pitocin given makes your contractions stronger. So, if you go on your own, you might find that you'll be just fine without an epi, but in the end, don't try to be a hero. Take it as far as you can and then opt for the modern medicine that the Lord has blessed us with. :o) In the end, it's all up to you. Good Luck! :o)

The Dipo's said...

You didn't ask for my opinion, but if you want to know more, email me.... but I'm very anti-co-sleeping and I'm very anti- cloth diapers. :o)

Emily said...

Have you talked to my mom about this? Jess and I have six other siblings, and although Jess and I were born in hospitals, the rest were born at home with a midwife. So she would be able to tell you more about that, how it goes, what it's like, etc.

As far as epidurals go, when babies are born they have certain reflexes that are really cool. Like, they do some neat things instinctually. Buuut, not when they're drugged from an epidural. So when I someday have kids, I definitely want to have them naturally so that I can enjoy that part of childbirth. My mom would be able to tell you more about that, too. There's a book about it. (I think it may be Your Amazing Newborn? but I'm not sure.)

Anyway, that's my 2 cents worth.

Luke and Erin said...

Here is my 2 cents on the matter. Take it for what it is worth! I hope you don’t mind and earful!
I did all the natural laboring class; I was quite set on doing it with out the assistance of drugs. I too did not want any negative affects for my little girl. I was ready to go spiritually, mentally and physically. 3 days overdue my baby was showing some sign of being in stress. So I decided to let the doctor induce. That itself is more painful than doing it on your own. I went 13 hours of induced labor and because of the amount of pain I was in (I feel I should note that I have a rather high tolerance for pain) I was putting my body into stress and in turn putting my baby into stress. It is at this point I leaned something that I think you should know. The epidural would have to be in me for 24 hours before crossing the placenta wall. That means there is no effect on the baby, unless there is some kind of complication. So, I opted for the drugs at 15 hours of induced labor. I still “felt” lots of pressure, I felt when she dropped out of the birth canal and I felt when she was out. I needed help moving my legs and I they had to tell me when to push. In that birth it was, I feel, the best way to go.
With my second my water broke 3 weeks early. Again I was ready to go all natural, no drugs. I was not worried about it effecting the baby but wanted to experience the whole birth. And I felt that this is what I was designed to do. On top of the there is the risk of spinal cord damage etc. This time I went 5 hours and he was not coming, I was not dilating. As they were getting ready to give me some drugs to help move the labor a little faster my body took over and started all on it’s own. Turns out he was too big and I was just a little too small. So, again I chose the epidural. It kicked in just in time for him to drop, crown rip me in every direction and break his clavicle bone. OUCH! I was grateful I did not feel that. He was 9 lbs three weeks early, by-the-way!
So, I was thinking third time is a charm. She was weighing much less. So I geared up to do it without the drugs, but in the back of my mind thinking this just wont happen. I really wanted to say I knew what it feels like to have a natural child birth. 3 ½ weeks early she came to us very quickly by emergency C-Section. That is a really long story and you can refer to our blog it you would like. I had some really good drugs then.
My fourth was a scheduled C-Section because VBAC are really kinda dangerous and I did not that kind of risk with my track record.
So to sum up, my take it, if you can do it without drugs great! It is a wonderful experience! However, it does not hurt your baby, and there is minimal risk to you, if you choose or have to choose an epidural. Modern technology is a gift for us, and we should not be afraid to use it. Just in moderation and carefully that goes for all things, right?
It is a beautiful experience and you will never feel closer to our Father in Heaven. When you hold that new little spirit you are not going to care how he/she came to you just that you he/she did!

I think you really need to feel 100% great with your doctor. I would switch even as far along as you are. I do not know much about midwives, other than I have never talked with anyone who regretted using one. Something to really look into if you are at all uneasy with your current situation. This is a very sensitive time for your body and I just really think this is important! You should be feel free to make whatever kind of decisions and be able to have he/she respect that.

Sleeping arrangements need to be discussed with your pediatrician. I have mixed feelings on it. I keep the baby in our room for the first year. If we are having an epically hard night I do have a little travel bed that can go right in the middle. They are only little once. Live it and love it because it goes oh so soon. If anything you might lose a little more sleep, but I think it is worth it to build a bond.

I am a Pampers/Huggies fan myself (I love Pamper’s Swaddler for when they first come home. They are soft and have a little cut out of the little stub of e. cord. But they leak as the baby gets to be about a month old, so I switch over to Huggies) There is just no way I can make myself even think about cloth diapers… Up until just the last few weeks I had 3 in diapers. So good for you to even consider the possibility, it is way better for the environment!

If I may say so, it is rather fantastic that you are weighing the options this early. No you do not have to know right away. But being the most prepared you can be is the best way to go. The best advice I can give to you is plan know your plan. Feel good about it. But if something has to change, allow it and move on. I had a problem breast feeding and have had to bottle feed my kids. I really was hard for me. I was dead set on not using a bottle. I needed to let it go better than I did, but it was not in my plan and I freaked out a bit…
I wish you the best, I would be happy to share other thoughts on the matter, if I have not scared you too bad! Just remember that all said and done it really does not matter, just be the best you can be and you and your baby will be fine!

Yikes! That was long and there are ptobalby100 miss spelled works and grammatical errors. Sorry!

Alison Berrett said...

I agree with most everything that has been said. Its up to you what you do. I had Elli in the hospital my sister gave birth at home with a mid wife, no meds. She loved it but said next time she is having a mid-wife that is affiliated with a hospital. I don't do pain well at all! My birth plan was that I would start out with no epidural or pain meds. I'd like to think I'm tough, I'm not! So after about 10 hours of labor I said give me something! I wasn't dialating anymore beyond 2 cm (what I was when I came in 4 hours prior). I wasn't allowing myself to relax enough between contractions and I was hindering my progress. Once I was given some pain meds and walked around a lot, another 8 hours later I was dialated to 4 cm and was given the epidural. Elli was born about 2 hours later. For me the pain was too much and I wouldn't allow myself to relax enough to let my body do the work it needed to. I tried breathing techniques that didn't work, I'm too much of a wimp. Everything turned out just fine for me and I recovered from the epidural in less than an hour. Talk about a really strange feeling though. Again, I'm open minded and really its up to you. I'm just letting you know what I did and maybe it will help, maybe it won't. Have you considered taking a Lamaze (however you spell it) class later, they give you lots of info on both sides of this issue. What it boils down to is you. So yes, grow a spine and make a decision that feels right for you!
Co-sleeping was not an option for me. Brandon and I are both light sleepers and wake to every little noise. Babies make more noise than you would think. Elli stayed in our room for maybe a week tops, then it was time to hook up the baby monitor! I did enjoy taking naps with her though. THis is my 2 bits.

Annaleise and company said...

Explore your options, know what they are, know the pros and cons, and get an idea of what you'd like, but keep your options open as well.

You do need to hurry and decide on a dr. or midwife because you'll want time to get to know them before the delivery. I started out with ob/gyns and hated it, so I switched to a group of midwives part way through my first pregnancy. And I'm so glad I did! I won't go back. Not only are all the midwives I met much more personable than any ob/gyn I've met. (not saying its always the case, but in my experience...) but having a group also means you aren't tied to any one person's schedule. At the ob/gyn's I went to, the offices were always crowded, it was impossible to get appointments, particularly at times that worked for me, and there was still no guarantee that the person I met with for those 9 months would be the person delivering the baby. If they happened to go out of town or something, you get stuck with a complete stranger.

With the midwives, I got to meet them all at one time or another, so even though I wasn't seeing one person for every appointment, I knew that when it came delivery time, I would have met the person at least once before. And it actually worked out that the same midwife was on duty for both of my children's deliveries. I go to them for my yearly check-up as well. And they still have a dr. that "oversees" them so heaven forbid something's wrong...there's still someone with even more training and expertise.

Diapers...Totally up to you, but remember that if you do decide to return to work, that the diaper decision also effects whoever else is caring for your baby. I wasn't sure I could stomach washing cloth diapers, or rather washing my other clothes in the same machine that just washed the diapers...but I also knew that my baby wouldn't necessarily be spending all her time at home. So there was the problem of carrying around dirty diapers while we were out and about, or adding in a bag of soiled diapers in with everything else I already had to carry when I picked her up if we left her with our parents our grandparents, for a few hours or all day. So despite my commitment to the environment and to my pocket book, disposable was the way to go for me. And not to confuse you more, but there's a new movement gaining popularity of not using diapers at all, starting potty training right off the bat...

Co-sleeping...I hadn't even heard of such a thing until I was pregnant with my oldest. So at that point I thought the idea was completely absurd! I could see having the baby's bed in your room with you, but actually sleeping in your bed! But then my bundle of joy was born, and I would go to feed her at night, and would nearly fall asleep. I was sure I would end up dropping her. So I started laying down to feed her at night, and then I WOULD fall asleep, and so would she, and you know what, life was just better! I slept better, she slept better. I wasn't sleepwalking trying to find my way to her, and there wasn't the problem with trying to move her from my arms to the crib, which always woke her up and caused at least 20 more minutes of screaming. It was a much happier household.

As for holistics or epidural...I had wanted a water birth at home from the time I knew such a thing existed. Unfortunately when my kids were born, it wasn't even legal in Utah. I think that's changed, but we figured we might as well have a hospital birth, and I was glad I did. It was nice having someone else worry about the mess, and meals and yadda yadda.

But I was still planning on going "natural" so I'd requested a room with a tub and a ball and what not. But then my due date came and went, so did the entire next week, and the next...and it was way past time to get that kid out of there! So we induced. Because they have to monitor things more, I couldn't get in the tub or do a lot of the things I had planned. They induced me Friday morning, but sent me home Friday night, still without a baby. I continued to have contractions all weekend. They started me again Monday afternoon, but I just wasn't dilating. They kept upping the pitocin but all that did was give me contraction on top of contraction. I finally agreed to a partial epidural so I could get some sleep Monday night. The fringe benefit to it was that the extra relaxation actually helped the dilation. After 4 days of contractions, I went from a 3 to a 10 in 2 hours. She finally came early Tuesday morning. I was still able to feel my body contracting, but I didn't feel the pain of it. And she still seemed alert and was ready to nurse right away.

With my second, I still planned on a natural birth but since my oldest still wasn't sleeping through the night, I hadn't slept in over 2 years either. We had to induce with her as well, so I opted for an epidural early on so I could get some rest and prepare for the medicine free birth which I figured would come hours, or days, later. She surprised us and came a little over an hour later, so the medicine didn't have time to wear off. But it again turned out to be a great blessing. She started coming so fast that it sent her into a distress. They gave me about 3 minutes to push her out or they would perform an emergency c-section, and even wheeled me into the operating room. We happened to catch the anesthesiologist just before he went into assist on a surgery, he wouldn't have been able to come out if I'd needed the c-section, so we were glad that I'd already had it. But luckily I was able to avoid the c-section by pushing with and without the help of the contraction, so actually being able to feel the contraction may have been a detriment. She was also able to nurse with just a few extra minutes of checking her out due to the distress.

I was a lot like you, I hated turning to medicine if I could relieve the pain with aroma therapy or a nice bubble bath or something. So the thought of being half-drugged while experiencing the natural miracle of birth was just appalling. But I'm VERY grateful that I did have modern medicine used in both deliveries. And honestly, if/when I have another I'm not sure what option I'll choose. I just plan on keeping my options open and seeing how it all goes, just play it by ear.

Andrea said...

I'm all for co-sleeping! Jordan and I bought a traditional pack-n-play because I didn't know about the co-sleeping ones. Ryan doesn't always sleep in bed with us, but he sleeps in our room. He naps in his crib, but if we only had a 1 bedroom apt. I wouldn't feel a huge need to switch to two.

I also agree that our bodies were designed for child birth, and if you don't want an epidural, then don't get one. I'm not opposed to them, and I did have one, but do what your heart tells you and who cares what anyone else thinks. You're not asking THEM to have a baby with out and epidural, right? RIGHT.

Oh, and Ti, you should read the book called "The Happiest Baby on the Block." Seriosly, its not long and I know you'll find it informative and interesting.

Clark and Rebecca said...

So I must be as un-holistic as a girl comes, but here's my opinions. I didn't have a midwife, but my doctor (a female) was AMAZING! Clark and I both feel that not only did she have our best interest at heart but she was also our friend and would tell us exactly what she was doing and why. I was also glad that I had a doctor when my labor became complicated. I wasn't dilating, Calissa's heartrate started peaking, Calissa was posterior (the doctor had to physically move her so that her head was facing the right way...good thing I had an epidural!)

About cloth diapers... we do disposable, but I did hear that there are diaper services that will come and pick up your diapers, clean them, and deliver them back to you so you never have to touch the poop. Not sure if they have any of those in Provo, but it's worth looking into.

Co-Sleeping. I'd have to look into that a little more. But the couple hours a night when Calissa would sleep by us because we were both too tired to put her back in bed, it was the worst sleep of my life! I woke up to every little sniffle, every tiny movement. I am a light sleeper though, so that could have been it too.

Marie said...

I'm not sure if you want another comment :) These are a lot of the same questions I've been weighing lately (but I'm not pregnant yet :) I've had 2 friends that birthed at home, and my mom had midwives and doctors at the hospital... I'm sort of leaning towards home and JP is leaning toward hospital, so we'll see where that goes. But I agree, don't worry about switching doctors, do what's best for you.
The main thing I want to comment on is co-sleeping. You probably know this but it is part of a parenting theory called "attachment parenting." I read two books written by the guy that coined that phrase, and this theory. (He and his wife have written many) The one I liked best was "The Baby Book." It does talk about the benefits of co-sleeping, and of breastfeeding, etc... The one that stood out to me that most was baby-wearing, which is basically carrying your baby a lot, and using different carriers to make that possible (slings/wraps...) My mom did co-sleep with most of us, before she knew it had a name or anything. She said it just felt right, and it was easier. I think the point I like most about the Sears books is to follow your instincts, trust yourself. Do what seems right for you, your family, and your baby. No one is more of an expert on your baby than you.
I did watch "The Business of Being Born" But I think what I liked more was the books that I read. Check out my goodreads. Although I have been doing more reading from the homebirth/natural/midwife side, so JP says I'm biased :) There's so much info out there, and it's great to research and learn (I've been enjoying it) But ultimately you just have to trust yourself. This probably sounds like a lecture, especially since there's so many before me. I hope you can just take it as a friend who is overly interested in these subjects herself (my husband is tired of hearing about it), and who has no experience and no idea what she'll end up doing either :) So best of luck, and all my love. I'm sure you will be a wonderful mom no matter what you decide!